Snow sucks... Blog topics anyone?

Its snowing outside. This is a bittersweet thing. Actually pretty much just bitter. I have nothing to do (I'm going to blame my lack of plans on snow even though I know if it was sunny and 70 degrees the situation would be the same) and I'm stuck inside my house. See, I'm past the age where snow is the most fantastical thing in the world. When I was little, snow was magical and wonderful. Back then if I had the choice between a pony and a week of snow, I probably would've chosen snow. Because snow doesn't randomly poop everywhere and smell bad. But now snow doesn't give me a kick at all. How the hell did I ever think this white crap was exciting? I only went outside one time today, because after 2 minutes of frolicking in the snow I realized that not being able to feel your hands or toes is not a fun time. I know I hate stereotypes, but there is one that I believe is true. Black people are like cats.

Cats don't like water or the cold. Blacks don't like water or the cold. Well guess what. Snow is a freaking mixture of those two things. Just think about it. Black people have pretty much conquered every single sport right? But are there any black ice hockey players? Nope. But once they figure out a way to create a heated ice rink black people will go to town on that sport. And for further proof that my theory is true take a look at the upcoming winter olympics. Count how many blacks there are. You'll see how my theory is correct.

Since i was oh so bored today I looked at other blogs. I've come to realize that if I want blog stardom I need a central topic. Like there is one blog about this 16 year old girl who is traveling the world by boat alone. This blog totally OWNS mine. Its called Abby's blog. Thanks abby for making my life seem like crap. There is also a blog about this guy. He is like 50 and all he does is take pics of him running away from the camera. I would say this guy needs a freaking life (because he does!) but his last post had 43 comments. How does a random guy running away from the camera get 43 comments? Life doesn't make sense. So guys hit me up with blog ideas. Topics that would interest you. Topics that would help me get 43 comments and beat running old guy.

~Nia

Black People. I love you Kelsey B. And your ukelele asian kids

I really wish I could dance. This is a random topic that popped into my head today. But my dancing ability comes up almost daily. And I know exactly why...

See I'm black. And by being a black kid surrounded by a bunch of white people you have certain responsibilities. I am the token black kid. And even though being the token black kid looks easy, its actually a very hard task. The expectations are almost impossible because 1. Being the only black kid I have no ghetto black people to learn from and 2. white kids have never been around real black people and they have absolutely no idea how they act. Some of the expectations are:

• That I should eat fried chicken and drink Kool-Aid- White people believe that for breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch, and lupper black people are munching on fried chicken and washing it down with red drink (if you are not familiar w/ black lingo this is cherry Kool-Aid). This is not true. I don't even like fried chicken or care for Kool-Aid.
• That I should talk in ebonics and wear Apple Bottoms- When people first see meet me they automatically think I'm not very black. Their thoughts are usually confirmed when I open my mouth and don't sound like I failed the 5th grade. See there is a reason why I go to school for all these freaking years. I will flaunt the things I have learned over and over in english class and not say things like "Gurrrl I is gettin' my hurr did today!" because I know that saying the word "girl" is not supposed make you sound like a tiger. And also I don't enjoy having apples/handprints/words on my butt. Its just awkward.
• That I should have amazing dance abilities- This one annoys me the most. Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can Drop It Low, Move Shake and Drop, Pop That Body (like a loli?), and make all the boys say Yeah! The only thing I can do is the shopping cart, which is like the whitest dance ever. It even beats out the sprinkler and robot. I've been foolish enough to try and learn to breakdance thinking it would make me cool. I just ended up with a swollen neck and pinky toe that makes me scream bloody murder whenever lightly taped against anything (I really should have a doctor check that...). My efforts were not total failures though because I did learn how to sort of execute a babyfreeze... which looks about as retarded as it sounds.

There are lots more stereotypes that I could talk write whole freaking thesis papers on. Fortunately, I will spare you cuz I'm pretty sure you don't care that much. But I have come to realize that if there were no false expectations and if I wasn't black and didn't try so hard to be the token black kid, I would probably have no friends. Because part of what makes me, well me, is being the special token oreo. And for right now I am just fine with that.

~Nia

(allison b is the best person i know. dont shoot yourself in the mouth even if you are more likely to die that way! :)

ITS HEATHER'S BDAY

So hey do you guys know my friend Heather?(Her last time will not be mentioned so old creeper dinosaurs will not kidnap her. That would be very unfortunate) Heather is very special to me. She is my biology partner. Heather and I sit right next to the file cabinets. Its a fun time. Heather smells like her dog's ass tumor. Its cool though since she wears sexy teacher shirts. While playing the violin. I love Heather very much. And I believe the only way to express my love is through poem. I do this often for her so its not creepy... actually it kinda is but she accepts my creepiness.

ODE TO HEATHER

Heather is a girl I know

She never has a frown

Her skin is as pale as the snow

It contrasts against my brown

Heather is very cool

I know this is true

She goes to my school

And drinks Mountain Dew

Heather is my friend

I love her so

She is a special blend

And I'm glad she is someone I know

I LOVE YOU HEATHER! :)

happy birthday!

Making a Post.... at 1:06 in the morning!

Sorry for the delay in posts! I'm not gonna lie, I haven't been busy at all (well unless you count the many jersey shore marathons that have lately been occupying my time). Take today for example: I got home, stared at my wall for 2 hours, and surfed the web for like 8 (I also watched the Hangover.....that is one freaking fantastic movie. Makes me want a satchel). That totally could've been blogging time, but I said oh screw it and procrastinated... like I do with everything. Also the lack of posts has been partially because my life is friggen boring. Dry as freaking toast (unless your toast is moist. then I have to give you props for messing up the easiest food in the world. takes skill to fail that much). Lately I have been totally drained of creativity. Because lately, even though my life has been pretty good, nothing is so interesting that people would want to read. But I will try to think of something....

GOT IT!

I want to be in a band. You don't even understand how badly I want this dream to come true. There are many reasons why I want to be in a band.

1. If you are in a band you are automatically cool. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not the coolest crayon in the box. If I were a color I'd probs be tan, which is the lamest color ever, compared to colors like fuchsia. (With a name like fuchsia it must be awesome.... I'm gonna name one of my 11 blasian kids that.) But if I were in a band my cool color status would probably catapult to like wisteria, man. And wisteria is like the coolest of all colors, it even owns Macaroni and Cheese (which doesn't actually taste like mac & cheese.... bad experiences).

Doesn't matter who you are at all. If you are in a band people automatically love you. I've seen some pretty sketchy people that when others first look at them they say "weirdo", but when Mr. Sketchy McSketchster says he is in a band its all cool. Its just not fair. I'm willing to spend hours learning the guitar and getting a mohawk and piercings to be cool. Whatever it takes man.

2....Actually there is no second reason. 1 just pretty much explains it all. That and I'm freaking tired and don't feel like writing more. So goodnight. (Shit its 1:30. Damn my insomnia)

~Nia

Hi again

Its been a long time world. I'm sorry about that. Actually its only been 4 days. But I know that since you guys spend every waking moment thinking about me and my blog its felt like forever. I totally understand.

So you may be wondering "Why Nia have you tortured us by waiting soooo long to notify us about your amazingly awesome life?" (or you could be wondering "Why didn't you just stop notifying us about your freakishly boring life?".... hopefully you are thinking the first question)

And I will relay the answer to you right now:

NIA HAD A LIFE FOR THE WHOLE WEEKEND

Can you believe it? It probably surprises the pants off of you! NO, it probably surprises every single article of clothing off you! Right now the shock has probably knocked you off your feet and left you sitting on the floor butt naked. Oh lordy, some awful images just popped into my head.

But, yes, I had a life. My weekend did not consist of staying in my pj's wrapped up in a snuggie, while watching a marathon of reruns of That 70's show or Scrubs and stuffing my face with popcorn the whole darn day like most ones. Nope, my weekend was kick-ass. Actually it went beyond that. It ninja chopped-ass then beat the ass into a pulp. Thats how extremely awesome it was.

This weekend was special because I went to the beach. Yeahh I partied it up with some college guys... drank beer until I passed out, did some weed, lsd, maybe even a litle bit of crack...ehh I was too drunk to remember. Twas pretty hardcore. 'Cuz thats how I roll, homie. (trust me, all of the G's use the word twas. Its about as gangster as the word toe-up. which is pretty gangster)

I know that story is very believable because I totally seem that hardcore (don't lie. you believed it for a second!).... that was not how my weekend was spent. Actually twas the exact opposite.

I went on a church retreat to the beach. I must say it was just like being at one of those parties, except it was a party with Jesus instead of a drunk crazy college guy... Well maybe not just like, but still it was buttloads of fun! But now back to school and also regular posts. Which means whenever I am bored at 11:00 at night.

~Nia

My plan

Since my brother is going off to college next year my parents have been realizing how hard this college crap is they are freaking out on me and are trying to make college stuff for me easier... even though I'm 4 years from it. Even though I know its pretty set in stone that I'm going to college, lately I have been thinking about different options for my future. You know, other than working my butt off in college for 5/6 years, then working my butt off in a job for like 40 years, and then dying. And somewhere in there having annoying little pooping and eating kids. Doesn't that sound freaking enjoyable?

So now I present to you my possible alternatives:

1. Become a Hobo

You can't deny that hobos have it made! They have absolutely no responsibilities at all! They don't have to go to work (they just make others feel guilty and give money, how easy is that? I can do that! No one can resist my sad face, its impossible), there is no mortgage when you live in a box! A box would be so easy to live in! Its mobile, easy to clean, and easy to decorate and pimp out because all you would need is a magic marker. And if I'm a hobo in Florida then I get to go around in a tank top and shorts all year. That sounds pretty darn nice to me.

2. TLC

I'm pretty sure there is no more Jon and Kate+8 show anymore.... So obviously there needs to be a new celebrity couple with an obnoxious amount of little asian kids. And that is exactly where I come in!

NIA AND KEVIN+ 11! (or any other guys name that rhymes with a number greater than 7, like, devin+11, or quinty+20...if that is a name)

Thats right. When I grow up I will get a weird haircut, find an asian guy name kevin, get married, and from then I will be like machine gun and shoot out little blasian kids like there is no tomorrow. Eventually, TLC will want to give me a show and tons of money. And my only job will be to take care of my kids (which I will obviously have like 5 nannies helping me with) and be crabby to everyone around me...specially my husband. Then after like 6 years my husband and I will get a divorce, America will feel so sorry for me and give me even more money.

Pure. Bliss. I am sooo liking this 2nd plan better. Way less effort.

So don't surprised if you see my on tv in like 20 years with 11 little blasian kids. You will know that its all part of my plan for an amazing wealthy no work life.

~Nia

I'm liking this blog thing!

I originally wasn't going to do a post tonight. I was gonna catch up on some sleep that I had been missing the past couple of nights (pshh not because I was procrastinating on my english project or anything! thats a crazy idea!), but then something happened. Something

EPIC.

well actually to everyone else in the world it wouldn't be that awesome, but to me its freaking

amazing! I had NINE FOLLOWERS. NINE. To me this is the equivalent of finding 25 dollars randomly on the street. Or getting a brand new puppy. The fact that those two things are on the same level me is a bit sad....but 25 bucks don't pee on the carpet. And whine at 4am because they need to pee (what thing pees at 4 am!?) and with 25 bucks you can buy 25 things at the dollar store. Thats astounding.

See another reason I did one tonight is because I got many requests from people to do a new post.

I AM WANTED!

That is freakin stupendous! (thesauruses are sensational. why use awesome when you can use flabbergasting?) I've never been wanted before! It's true! Not by boys, for projects in class, which has absolutely nothing to with the fact that I let the other person have the honor of doing almost everything, not for teams in gym (5th last is my highest ranking for being picked! Isn't that swell?), shoot my parents didn't even want me! They told me I was a "unexpected blessing". Too bad I'm old enough to know that I was just a byproduct of a good time.

But its cool now. Because You want me. You the reader. Yep you nine people that have subscribed to me and willingly read 5 paragraphs of me bitching about my life have just made my life! (bitching is the only good synonym for complain...well other than kvetch. which I didnt know was a word!) Go ahead and give yourself a pat on the back my dear reader! You have made my life that much more enjoyable! You are truly:

alarming, astonishing, awe-inspiring, awful,beautiful, breathtaking, daunting, dreadful,exalted, fearful, fearsome, formidable, frantic,frightening, grand,hairy*(wtf!) , horrible,horrifying,imposing, impressive, intimidating, magnificent,majestic, mean, mind-blowing*, moving,nervous, overwhelming, real gone, shocking, something else, striking, stunning, stupefying,terrible, terrifying, wonderful, wondrous, zero cool

how hairy fits in there I do not know! but thesaurus.com says it so it must be true!

I love all of you my very hairy readers. You are truly stupefying!

~Nia

shout out to ALLISON and NATALIE. Because they told me to. And because they are very majestic :)

Meg Ryan

It's 8:21 on a saturday night. What are you doing?

On saturday nights you are supposed to be doing something totally exciting! Like partying the night away, going to the movies, or watching a marathon of Meg Ryan movies while sitting on couch blogging while wrapped in your snuggie alone in your house.

Wait.....one of these things does not sound like the other! If you haven't figured it out by now right now I am sitting on my couch, alone, in a snuggie, blogging to 6 people (Thats more than how many people I sit at lunch with!... oh geez thats a little good and also bad), and watching Sleepless in Seattle. Doesn't that sound exciting? Its like I'm having a little party! Just me, Meg Ryan, and Tom Hanks, which are 2 of my favorite people in the world. Even though they don't know who I am....Ohhhh fml.

You know whats sad? My mother has more of a social life than me. I just realized this. While I am sitting here all freaking alone in this house of mine (well other than Peanut my dog, but she doesn't even want to converse with me. All she ever does is sleep....lazy bitch) she is having the time of her life at the movies with friends! They are seeing I'ts Complicated for the 3rd time. I don't know why because I don't understand how anyone can stand watching a movie where old people (Meryl Streep is freaking 60 man! Thats just not cool!) make out and "do it". Ewww grosssss. Just the thought of that made me throw up a little bit on the inside.

But other than the thought of 60 year olds getting busy right now I am actually pretty content. Sleepless in Seattle is an awesome movie and my day has been pretty hectic today so just chillin' by myself is actually pretty nice! (see how i used chillin'? its cuz I'm gangsta...I wish)

Plus I slept over at my friends house last night so at least I did something social this weekend. We stayed up untill 5 am (I've realized that after 2am my friends act like crazy awesome crack addicts...) so I'm pretty tired and watching romantic comedies all night feels really nice right now. Romantic comedies always give me that warm fuzzy feeling inside that makes feel insanely cheerful! Well hopefully you are having an amazing Saturday night. Or doing something that gives you a warm fuzzy feeling!

~Nia

Its bloggin' time!

Yeah that title was submitted by my good friend Sarah! I thought i might use that and give her a shout out because she seems to be the only one reading this thing. Actually she probably is the only one reading this thing... See I told everyone in all of my classes about this blogging project! They all either laughed for 3 minutes straight and lowered my self-esteem or gave me weird looks... Either way it didn't go as well as I had planned! (As you have probably noticed my friends aren't that supportive. Makes me wonder why I don't get new friends....)Pretty much all of them promised them they would read and comment just to see what I was writing about and how strangely weird I was, so today when I got home from school I was very excited to get on and see how many new followers I had. It was an anxious bus ride and I daydreamed about getting home and seeing that my blog was the hot spot of the internet! I pictured that I had 200 subscribers and bunches of comments about how witty and entertaining I am and how they were going to tune in everyday and would be eager for more and more of my amazingly wonderful blogs! I even imagined sexy Zac Efron leaving me a little comment saying he loved my endearing wittiness and asking me to marry him. Heck yes Zac. Heck yes.

So imagine the pure and utter disappointment I felt when I opened my blog and saw.....

only one single subscriber and comment.

It was a major disappointment. Because not only had I told everyone in the world about this (well except my mom...she would be paranoid and tell me that somehow the outcome of this would be me being kidnapped by a creepy 50 year old man....my mom is weird ok?), but I also spent 20 minutes making business cards... actually just while I was being bored to death during class I took scraps of paper and wrote my url on them....and then I furtively passed them out to the whole class while the teacher (we will call him Mr L) kept making me so bored that I wanted to ram my head into the desk. Yaaa he didn't notice I wasn't listening at all....I was sly like a stealth cat.

People will probably think "Nia should get a life!" when they read this and then they will never read this again. Actually even if this was the happiest, wittiest, and best blog in the world everyone would still think I should get a life. Because that is partially true...and because everyone always hates on the black kid. Its a fact.

Sooooo to end on a bright note I will add a joke:

Q: "what do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?"

You're Mom?

nawww A: "Swimming trunks"

Now didn't that shine a ray of happiness on your day? It definitely did for me! I feel a sense of optimism for this blog! Hey there is plenty of time for me to have 200 subs and a marriage proposal from Zac Efron! (even though hsm was gay...he's a sexy beast)

Sincerely,

~Nia (If you neglected to read the "about me" Nia is my real name...not midnight rider....unfortunately)

Kick-Off!

Hey world! Actually this isn't the world, this is pretty much nobody right now. But it is only the first post! There are lots of possibilities! Maybe by starting this blog I am starting a new and better chapter of my life. A chapter where somehow this blog makes me cooler and more popular! Or a chapter where I spend everyday in my room writing about my lifeless day to a bunch of strangers on the internet..... Darn the second scenario sounds wayyyy more likely.

So its always been my dream to do something on the internet. Whether it was being on Youtube or making an awesome web comic or doing anything else that makes people instantly love you. Blogging never occurred to me until last night. I had an epiphany about a new way to become famous. See I had to cancel out ways to reach Internet stardom. Youtube was cut because I realized that no one wants to look at my face for 3 minutes while I talk about random crap that no one cares about. Plus I realized that I would only have like 5 views on each video and 2 of them would be just from me and the other 3 from my mom. The 2 comments would probably be from her too. And probably misspelled because she can't read the letters on her keyboard.

The idea of me doing web comics was killed too....actually worse than killed. More like murdered, drowned, butchered, then repeatedly stabbed. It was BADDDD. My artistic ability isn't even laughable. It just slowly burns your eyeballs after one look and you gradually go blind. I sketched a picture of Mickey Mouse and somehow he looked exactly like Gollum! I gotta give myself a high five for drawing a pretty nice picture of Gollum though....

So since every other possibility was canceled out (there where wayyy more than this!), either because I epically failed (art....) or just no one cares about it at all (no one wants to watch someone play Cello sorta ok-ish on Youtube...), I turned to blogging. I think I will be good because in 2nd grade I won a writing contest! You know why? Because I got madddd writing skills (or maybe because only eight kids entered in and they were all first graders....) But I even told my friends about my blogging endeavor! Most laughed.... Some said they would read and comment....if I paid them five bucks (which I probably will end up doing. I'm desperate), but there were one or two supportive people. Hey it was out of like 30 people asked but who is really counting?! So hopefully you will enjoy this blog. Maybe even follow me (by clicking the button, not actually stalking). Who knows? Maybe I have found my long lost niche! :)

~Midnight

Rider